Having your first child is one of the most important decisions you will ever have to make. While there is no such thing as perfect timing, and many women who fall pregnant by accident can make the most out of their situation, careful planning is important. Women today are having kids later in life, as they have a career to build and some of them find it hard to settle with the right person. Below you will find a few questions you should ask yourself before you decide to take a step toward motherhood.
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Your Living Conditions
A baby needs a positive and supportive environment. You should check whether your current living conditions are suitable for a baby, and face reality. Are you able to take the time off to renovate your home or to set up a nursery? Is your current neighborhood suitable for kids? Are you where you want to be in life, or would you like to achieve more before you can provide a nest for your family?
Your Relationship
While a traditional family is no longer necessary to have kids, and there are plenty of successful professional single mothers out there, you might want to get help with raising your child. There are no guarantees for the future when it comes to relationships, however, you can sit down and discuss your plans with your partner, so that you know that they stand by you, no matter what you would like your family to look like in a couple of years from now.
Your Support Network
It is important that you can live a balanced family life and get the support you need while you are pregnant or looking after a baby. An increasing number of women suffer from postnatal depression, and having someone to talk to and someone who is there to help out when things are getting hard is a good way of making sure you and your child will have the best start. If you have a strong support network, you might want to check if they are ready to step in when you happen to struggle.
Your Genetics
It is also crucial that you check that you are not going to pass on any hereditary illness to your child, and get yourself tested, as well as your partner. If you have hemophilia, you might have a higher risk of complications during childbirth and pregnancy. You should also check if you have any health issues your doctor should know about, so you can plan ahead and take precautions before you become pregnant. Raising your child will be challenging at times, but if you have to deal with the challenges while being ill, you cannot make the most out of motherhood.
Your Body Clock
An important aspect to consider is your body clock. While an increasing number of women are now trying to delay pregnancy, your body will not be in the same shape in your 40s than in your 20s. If you want kids later, but not just now, it might be one of the reasons to freeze eggs and still have a healthy baby and reduce your complications during childbirth if you want to become a mother later in life.
Your Career
Of course, for modern women, career is an important part of life. If you feel like your baby might stand between you and that promotion you have been working toward, or you simply want to improve your job prospects before having a family, you will have to start creating a long term plan. Give yourself time to improve your career, and make the most out of the time you have available.
Your Long Term Plans
Once you have your life planned out, you will have to ensure that you can afford having a baby. Create a list of changes you will have to make in your home and your lifestyle, and a list of what you will have to buy for the baby. This will allow you to see in black and white how your life will look like once it is not only you in the family. You might already have a plan related to starting a business, relocating, or starting a new career, and your family life needs to fit in, or you will regret one or more decision.
What You Can Give Emotionally
If you would like to give the best emotional support to your child, you will need to be OK yourself. You have to be grounded and clear about your life goals, or your child will be affected. You should prepare for motherhood emotionally, so you can support your child and deal with the stress that comes with raising kids and protecting vulnerable people. Let go of your worries by mediating regularly and practicing mindfulness.
Your Physical Health
You should also check whether or not your physical health is as good as it can be. Your baby will depend on you for nine months while inside the womb and for many years after. If you have any digestive issues that will prevent the absorption of nutrients and vitamins, it might be a good idea to talk to a doctor about supplements and special diet. You don’t want to disadvantage your child because your body cannot support them.
Your Mental Health
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Of course, your mental health is important, too. You will have to be able to cope with sleep deprivation and stress, as well as changing lifestyle and schedules. If you are not prepared, you might develop anxiety due to the worrying. You should read related books and improve your work-life balance, so you can face the challenges of motherhood easier. Develop healthy coping mechanisms, so you can deal with whatever your family life has in store.
You might feel like your biological clock is ticking and you will need to act fast, but having a child is a decision for life. You have to complete a reality check and make sure that you and your partner, your family members are ready.
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