Tonight my preschooler had a meltdown because of a half a PB&J. Because it wasn’t the whole sandwich. Seriously?!? Apparently cutting it in half made it taste horrible.
Then it became a battle of wills, and it was bedtime so my will was strong! I mean, all we had to do was read books, brush our teeth and get in bed! At one point I remember saying “you can’t say you don’t like it until you at least take a bite.” So, he stop crying, stood up, took a bite, chewed, swallowed, and threw himself back down wailing “I don’t like it.”
I could have gotten up and made him a new sandwich. Some nights I probably would have. But at this point it wasn’t about the sandwich. Well, to him it was only about the sandwich. And about being tired. But to me it was about him being ungrateful. It was about not even saying thank you. It was about being content with what he had! It was about needing to get them into bed and not interrupt our routine again.
Driven by the leverage of snuggle time, our bedtime routine is pretty good. So teaching my preschooler to be content and to not have a meltdown over unimportant issues seems like a logical battle. Right? Wrong? Who has the manual?
Eventually I did win. He ate the half sandwich. He cried through reading books, missed out on snuggle time in sister’s room, and received many threats to his snuggle time. But he still brushed his teeth. He still got in bed. He did get a much shorter snuggle time in his room since he wasted so much time being upset.
Moms and dads, how do you do that? How do you teach your children to say thank you even if they don’t want what they got? How do you teach them to be grateful for what is in front of them instead of wishing for what they can imagine – while at the same time encouraging them to imagine and wish and hope and be passionate? My kids have such spirit and such persistence, and I want that to thrive. But I want that in a healthy way – I want them to fight for people’s well-being, to fight for God, to fight for goodness and life. I don’t want them to fight over the size of their sandwich, or fight because somebody cooked their eggs wrong. Your fork is the wrong color? Breathe, mama, breathe….
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