There are few life changes that can devastate a person quite as much of a divorce. Nevermind the most acrimonious ones, even parting on good terms with someone you expected to spend your life with has to be tough. It’s easy to find yourself dumbfounded, wanting to help a friend, but not knowing how. Here are a few tips to help you support them.
Lend a hand, a car, and whatever you have
If your friend needs help moving from their marriage home to another place, or any other kind of practical assistance, then you should be willing to jump up and lend your assistance. Every step of the divorce is going to be uniquely painful, and getting them through it as quickly as possible is going to be much appreciated.
Help them find the help that they need
A divorce can be a dizzying experience and your friend may be so taken aback by it that they’re not entirely sure what steps to take next. This is especially true if there are children involved and they’re worried about how they might handle it. Helping your friend look for and get in touch with a mediator or the best child custody lawyer in the area can help tremendously. You don’t have to get involved at all in the case, but you can at least help them find their feet.
Offer some distraction
Perhaps your friend is so deeply invested in the divorce that they have been doing little else with their time lately. That’s entirely reasonable, it’s a major event and one that requires their full attention. However, they need to take care to manage their stress and not burn out. Finding some distraction for them, such as going on an adventure together, starting to workout together, or simply arranging a weekly dinner and movie friend date can be just the break they need. Don’t be surprised if they decline to join you, but keep inviting them anyway.
Don’t get involved in mudslinging
It can feel cathartic for your friend to speak their mind about their ex, but joining in can be risky. You don’t know what their real emotions are regarding their former spouse, and if they end up having a more positive relationship with them in the end, your words could come back to bite you. Just listen, let them share, and be on their side, but have a neutral take on the ex.
Do them a spontaneous favor here and there
If they’re having a rough time, then a little act of kindness can be greatly appreciated here and there. Show up with a meal that they can pop in the oven for their dinner without stressing. Help with the housework. Offer to take the kids for an afternoon so they can lie back and de-stress.
Most important of all is that you’re there to have their back and keep them on track. Sometimes they need help, sometimes they need to vent, and they are going to be relying on you.
Leave a Reply