$6,954. That’s how much AARP estimated children spend to take care of their aging parents every year. And that’s just the out-of-pocket expenses.
That figure doesn’t include time taken off work. It doesn’t factor in medical costs or other costs associated with caring for a parent.
Still, it can be rewarding to give back. For others, it may seem like a familial obligation.
If you’re looking after an aging parent, consider these factors.
Have the Hard Talk
No one wants to think about the fact that we’ll all die. Yet at some point, we all start making trades of quality of life in exchange for more time.
For your loved ones, where do they strike that balance?
What if the worst should happen like a stroke? Do your parents want to go through the effort of recovering from that? Or would they prefer to let that be the end?
While it’s not a pleasant conversation or one that’s easy to bring up, it’s important to talk to your parents. You need to know what they want you to do if you’re put in charge of their medical emergency.”, add “You can follow these tips for a productive conversation with your aging parents, free of assumptions, regrets, and resentment.”
By having this talk ahead of time, you can know what your parents would have wanted. This can relieve guilt. It’ll make it easier to make decisions in an emotionally charged situation.
Interested in a comprehensive view of aging and mortality in the medical industry? Check out Atul Gawande’s award-winning book Being Mortal.
It’s Important to Talk About Funeral Arrangements
The average funeral costs between $7,000 and $9,000. Yet many parents don’t want to put those costs on their children. Even still, they haven’t prepared for their funerals.
That’s why it’s important to talk about funeral plans before they’re needed. This will help you act in your parent’s best wishes in an emotionally charged time.
And many parents don’t want their children to foot that bill, or they don’t even want a funeral at all. It’ll be important to you to honor their memory in a way they would have wanted. You’ll never know until you ask.
Know Where to Find the Will
Do your parents have a will? Where can you find it?
This is vital to know, as the will is the one document that can keep your parent’s assets out of the government’s hands. It will help you and the rest of your family divide up your parent’s belongings according to their wishes.
Many people keep their wills in a safe deposit box or with their attorney. Either way, you need to know where to find it.
And if they don’t have a will? Take time to set an appointment with an attorney to put one together. Depending on the size of your family’s assets, a will can cost anywhere between $150 to $1000.
What Does Insurance Cover for Your Aging Parents?
Medical costs in America are completely insane. As a result, most people rely on insurance to cover their medical expenses.
So it’s important to know what your parent’s insurance will cover. Sit down with their plan or talk to a representative with their insurance company.
For expenses that insurance won’t cover, do your parents have an HSA or another way to pay medical bills? Are there alternative treatments that would be cheaper?
Talk About Money
Getting old is expensive, but hopefully, your parents have some money set aside to help with that. They may also be able to rely on social security or other retirement funds.
Sometimes it is good to gift them legacy letters by which they can share their experiences, regrets, hopes, and if they want to leave something on someone after their death. Legacy Letter deals with mortality, values, and assets. It can be recorded, written, and typed.
Take time to set up budgets and plan for medical expenses. Also, make sure your parents are on the lookout for scams. Elderly financial scams are rampant.
Look Into a Medical Alert System
Does your parent live alone? Do they have mobility issues? Look into getting a medical alert system. This way your parents can get medical help as quickly as possible in an emergency.
A medical alert system could save their life or prevent serious long term damage.
Consider Getting Help
Taking care of your parent can be physically and emotionally draining. It’s okay to ask for help. Consider hiring extra help.
They can take your parents to and from appointments. They help your parents get their groceries, provide companionship. Other professionals can aid in daily necessities like bathing and toilet care.
While this may be an added expense, it’s likely worth it. Especially consider extra help if you’re taking time off work to care for your parents. On top of that, it will ease some burdens you have to carry.
Look Into Alternative Housing
Living at home, living with you, assisted living, retirement homes, nursing homes. There are a lot of options for the elderly, but not all of them are great or right for you and your parents.
It’s okay to change housing as your parents age. Maybe they’d do well in a retirement community, or maybe they need the support of an entire nursing home. Talk about this with your parents and see what’s right for them.
You can get more information housing options in this helpful article.
Take Time for You
Whenever you have a dependent it’s important to make time for yourself. You can’t be expected to care for another being if you can’t even take care of you.
So schedule some downtime, make your own needs heard, or see a therapist to help walk you through this trying time.
By taking time for yourself, you’ll have more energy and more patience to take care of your parents.
Taking Care of Your Parents Can Be Hard, But These Tips Can Help
Today, 17% of Americans are taking care of their aging parents. This puts stress on the economy, and the individuals involved.
Take time to talk about money, talk about the end of life expectations, and reach out for help. You’ll be a bit better off.
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