When we mention a bridal shower, chances are that you already have an idea in your mind. You imagine a tea party organized by a maid of honor, where all female friends and family members of the bride gather, bring presents, and play wedding-related games.
Does a bridal shower absolutely have to be in this form and format?
This is probably a question you have ever asked yourself.
The answer is: No, of course not!
Here’s how you can modernize this experience by abandoning some of the best-known bridal shower traditions.
- You don’t have to have just one shower (hosted by the wedding party)
Traditionally, a bridal shower can only be organized by a maid of honor or bridesmaids; however, this tradition doesn’t really hold up in today’s world. Chances are that a maid of honor already has her hands full, which is why it’s totally fine to delegate this task to someone else.
Breaking away from this tradition gives you more organizational flexibility. Instead of giving this task to someone who’s already busy being support for the bride (or has an already busy schedule), it’s completely fine to give the responsibility to anyone else. A mother of a bride or a friend could do this just as well.
Moreover, since you give this task to someone whose schedule is a bit emptier, you can enjoy the privilege of having a better-organized shower. The problem with traditional showers is that they’re often eclipsed by more important events that come before (the engagement) and after (the wedding).
Even more importantly, there’s no need to limit yourself to having just one bridal shower. If you believe you need more than one party, feel free to organize it. This way, you can have several people throw their own parties, enjoy more parties, and not have to overwork one person trying to alleviate your burden.
- It doesn’t have to be a tea party or a brunch
The idea of a bridal shower, in most people’s minds, is the one of a tea party or a brunch. This was true in the past, but today, this rule is no longer as important to uphold. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with a tea party or a brunch, this will drastically limit your bridal shower planning efforts. It will pigeonhole you and eliminate some of the most interesting and creative ideas you may have had.
Why?
Because you believe that it has to be a tea party.
This will make you ignore all the amazing venues that don’t seem brunch-like and narrow down your decoration capacities. Not only that, but since this form of event is so formal, a lot of people avoided hosting themed parties, even when it would have made perfect sense for the bride and groom.
This made a lot of people dread the idea of a bridal shower experience, making it into something that they just have to get over with instead of making it what it was always meant to be. It’s a fun prelude to one of the most interesting events in your life.
- The partner can either appear at the end with flowers or not appear at all
A bridal shower was always exclusively for the bride. The future groom usually appeared during the last few minutes with flowers, and while this was sweet, there are a lot of couples with a mutual friend group, which is why this kind of gender exclusionism doesn’t make much sense. After all, you’re splitting the group so that you can honor the tradition that doesn’t even make that much sense.
Who knows how many brides would have loved to have their future husband present during the shower but chose against it because it wasn’t according to tradition. Well, in 2024, there’s not much sense in repeating the same mistake.
Sure, there’s nothing wrong with a traditional bridal shower, and if you have always dreamt about the shower format where your future husband swoops in at the last moment with a bouquet, just go for it. All that we’re saying is that if you have other ideas, you don’t have to stick to this formula.
- You don’t have (and shouldn’t) open gifts in front of everyone
Once again, to some, this is the favorite part of the bridal shower, but it’s also no longer relevant and can be skipped without any consequences.
Opening gifts in front of everyone is one of those tropes that always find their way into an episode of a sitcom. Your college roommate gets you something inappropriate, and you open the box in front of your mom and your grandma. While funny, this is hardly original since these scenes were known to happen. After all, not every attendee will have the full attendance list and some assume that the event will be relation-free.
Moreover, handling the logistics of transporting all the gifts, some of which may be rather large, could be a nightmare. Instead, you can just have them delivered to a different address and tell the attendees not to go into too much trouble.
Also, not all of your friends will be as affluent, and the last thing you want is to have them feel uneasy and compare their presents to those of others.
- Playing traditional bridal shower games
Sure, a bridal shower is supposed to be a prelude to the wedding, which is why the majority of activities and games played there are designed this way. The problem is that by the point the shower actually does take place, you’ll probably be fed up with the organization of the wedding (and the wedding in general).
All you want is a nice party with the closest circle of friends, some alcohol, and some blueberry muffins.
Why not take the event in a different direction altogether and completely forget about the wedding for these few hours? Play fun games in a circle of your closest friends and family, and use this as an exhaust vent to relieve some of the stress you’re feeling about the wedding.
This is probably a single tradition that you’ll benefit the most from abandoning.
Wrap up
Ultimately, it’s your party, and it’s made for you. If you’re not happy with it, if it’s anxiety-inducing, or if you’re in the “let’s just get over with it” mindset, then you’re not doing things right. Traditions are not laws, and if any of them ruin your experience, feel free to abandon them. All the restrictions imposed by these sorts of traditions are just in your mind.
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